Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize
