he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
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