"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
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