Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
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