dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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