I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
