I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
