at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
It's just like the Real World with babies
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
