when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
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