we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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