I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Randomize
