This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
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I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
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Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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