if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
