So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Randomize
