just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
How many fucks given?
0.12846
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
