i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
