I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
