how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
