Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize