I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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