At least make sure they are 18
Why
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
