I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
