just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
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