Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
