yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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