i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Randomize
