He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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