Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
The air was thick with penises
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Randomize
