I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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