okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
MIDGETS
????
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
