I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
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