Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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