I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
