I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She swung at the pinata with crutches
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
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