Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
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