he shaved USA in his pubs
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Randomize
