you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Randomize
