Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
