we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
