no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
