C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Randomize