A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
