I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
