Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
The Olympian is in my bed
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
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