Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
