we're chasing vodka with high fives
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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