Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Randomize
