I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
