Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
My penis needs a shock collar
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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