Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms