Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
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