I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Bring me that man meat