i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.