you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Randomize
