Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
