This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Well douche your snatch and let's go!
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Randomize
