return my video game
butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
