That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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