bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
