I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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