So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Randomize
