ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
