oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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