Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
