he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Four minutes until I can fart!
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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