i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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