Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
