Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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