Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Randomize
